If ever you feel stupid, remember that one time my twin brother forgot my birthday.
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
whenever i see tripp pants i remember when i was in my senior year of high school. there was this sophmore girl who would sit the table me and some of my friends sat at during lunch period. she dated a guy who graduated before us but we knew him because he wore these pants almost every day.
one day she came to the table very upset, and when we asked her what was wrong, she said she broke up with her boyfriend because he lied all the time. he had been telling lies throughout their entire relationship. you wanna know what the lies were? he lied to her saying he was adopted, and he was a half-vampire demigod. she was crying
she was crying because her boyfriend lied to her about being an adopted half-vampire demigod
This man is my hero.
WEIRD AL CANNOT BE STOPPED!
A Tibetan Monk blesses the deer that gather around him and someone snaps a picture. Upon viewing the picture they notice a rainbow had appeared.
pretty sure this is the happiest picture I’ve seen in a long time
Return to Sender is a funny photo series by photographer Tommy Kha that takes a unique approach to self-portraiture. Rather than taking a straight-forward image of himself, the Memphis-based photographer presents himself engaged in a one-sided kiss with dozens of strangers in various locales. Funny enough, it’s the other person in each shot that is fully committed to the smooch as Kha stands motionless.
When approaching strangers to be his potential partner, Kha simply has one direction for them: “They can kiss me however they want but they have to kiss me on the lips.” No matter how they choose to go about it, Kha’s reaction is consistent. The stoic photographer’s unresponsive facial expression and body language stands out in each shot, making for a hilariously awkward collection of photos.
Shot after shot, he continues to lock lips with passionate partners, yet he impressively displays no sign of pleasure, disgust, or any other possible reaction. Instead, he opts to remain unaffected by their advances, even if they choose to carry him in their arms or dip him as a romantic gesture. via [Beautiful Decay]