"People will stab you in your back and then ask why you’re bleeding."
unknown (via flawfulll)
*brings entire life’s savings to urban outfitters* *comes back with a sweater*
life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.” months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”
my mom ordered two different pizzas from two different places cause she had coupons and they both got here at the same time so we had a pizza hut delivery guy and a dominos delivery guy both standing by our front door and the dominos guy looks at the pizza hut guy and proceeds to sing Why Can’t We Be Friends? while the pizza hut guy just glares at him
"It was a starry night. Four men waited impatiently on a small island surrounded by a calm sea. But that calmness was deceptive, for at that moment an Indian with a bandaged thigh swam towards them." (The Fall; 2006)